Conversations: Falling out of the clouds

Kirk:
i made "My legal advice to you is : Don't have no mo children" my fb post of the day lol

Her:
hahaha

Kirk:
... I know it isnt meant to be, nothing ever is, it seems.... but i'd drop everything and do it- I'd open myself up and lose myself in it- for as long as i could...
- just saying.... life is but a dream and I'll take the clouds thank you..

Her:
2 Many Hoes
thats my response

Kirk:
lol send me the lyrics to that Kanye song we were listening to ...
everyone needs a few extra admirers. It does wonders for our self esteem, you know

Her:
want me to e-mail it?
the lyrics
Kirk:
yes please

And I always find, yeah, I always find somethin’ wrong
You been puttin’ up wit’ my shit just way too long
I’m so gifted at findin’ what I don’t like the most
So I think it’s time for us to have a toast
Let’s have a toast for the douchebags!
Let’s have a toast for the assholes!
Let’s have a toast for the scumbags
Every one of them that I know
Let’s have a toast for the jerkoffs
That’ll never take work off
Baby, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can
She find pictures in my email
I sent this bitch a picture of my dick
I don’t know what it is with females
But I’m not too good at that shit
See, I could have me a good girl
And still be addicted to them hoodrats
And I just blame everything on you
At least you know that’s what I’m good at
And I always find
Yeah, I always find
Yeah, I always find somethin’ wrong
You been puttin’ up wit’ my shit just way too long
I’m so gifted at findin’ what I don’t like the most
So I think it’s time for us to have a toast
Let’s have a toast for the douchebags!
Let’s have a toast for the assholes!
Let’s have a toast for the scumbags
Every one of them that I know
Let’s have a toast to the jerkoffs
That’ll never take work off
Baby, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can
Run away from me, baby
Run away
Run away from me, baby
Run away
Never thought it would get crazy
Just run away
Baby, I got a plan
Run away as fast as you can
Run away from me, baby
Run away
Run away from me, baby
Never thought it would get crazy
Why can’t she just run away?
Baby, I got a plan
Run away as fast as you can

Never was much of a romantic
I could never take the intimacy
And I know it did damage
‘Cause the look in your eyes is killin’ me
I’m guessin’ you’re at an advantage
‘Cause you could blame me for everything
And I don’t know how I’ma manage
If one day you just up and leave
And I always find
Yeah, I always find somethin’ wrong
You been puttin’ up with my shit just way too long
I’m so gifted at findin’ what I don’t like the most
So I think it’s time for us to have a toast
Let’s have a toast for the douchebags!
Let’s have a toast for the assholes!
Let’s have a toast for the scumbags
Every one of them that I know
Let’s have a toast to the jerkoffs
That’ll never take work off
Baby, I got a plan
Run away fast as you can

Kirk:
and how is my outlook for seeing our horoscopes today?
i wonder on the "on" days if there is some kind of planetary attraction affecting us...

Her:
probably... here's mine:
"You feel totally detached from an emotional situation. Displays of anger or sorrow usually affect you this way."

Kirk:
what was mine

Her:
yours...
is interesting
"Your emotional energy runs high today, as long as you feed it with interesting experiences and interactions. If not, you could be feeling restless. Routine tasks will not satisfy you now. You might also find yourself attempting to attach meaning to what you do or to your life today, as a higher purpose is something you're seeking now. Overall, you're in a friendly, curious mood."

Kirk:
w o w

Her:
Then it says - Its a good day for romantic and creative matters

Kirk:
hammer, meet nailhead
that is just crazy, spooky - exactly how i feel today - every bit of it...

Her:
i know
It says that the moon is in my sign today - whatever that means - it is an Aquarius moon... ? i dont understand all of this stuff, but i think i'm going to try to - so far its been pretttty accurate

Kirk:
aight, so i'm talkative and wistful and in the clouds, so i may continue being all sigh-y

Her:
thats fine by me

Kirk:
hmmm well... the boy wishes he could be everything the girl wanted and that she could be everything he wanted. But he knows that fairy tale stuff and she knows it too... But in the clouds everything is perfect and bright and smells nice and there are no worries
in the clouds, you can fall anyway you want, but never down

Her:
thats where i need to be

Kirk:
its where all the cool people hang out
i guess
i get so intoxicated from those little moments
thats how i KNOW
what lurks in my heart, thats how i know its TRUTH
but i dont know how to deal with it or accept it or even how to hold it.
If I pull it too close, i'm afraid it will burn me
but when i hold it at arm's length, i can't have those perfect kisses
and i so want them

Her:
we should probably try to figure this out someday...
if it doesnt kill us first

Kirk:
can we share a room in hell?
that might be too much for you, even in hell... lol
oblivion is always what i desired, but it really would be hell to no longer know the temptation of her touches and to feel the burn of her gaze on me

Her:
haha, yes, im thinkin it would be too much for me

Kirk:
our common problem is that we dont want too much of any one person

Her:
you're right

Kirk:
but is it that we want More than one person can give, or that we just cant stand the thought of just one person alone for the rest of our lives?

Her:
i know for me...i know that im way too demanding - nothing is ever good enough for me and im never satisfied because of it
i know that for sure - i know thats my problem

Kirk:
thats mine as well
i make things hard, on purpose
i want you because i know you'd never truly want me forever
and that makes it easier
does that make any kind of sense at all ?
i realize that that is sad and twisted and a mockery of what i DO feel deep inside
i dont trust you, because i dont trust myself
and so I trust absolutely nothing except impermanence

Her:
that makes perfect sense

Kirk:
it is completely disheartening to me because I know its just because deep down I am scared of the rejection that i feel is inevitable
but, theres a wall in between that love anyway
so, as always i get ahead of myself anyway
and project ultimate desires on a situation where there is little risk of having to worry about real commitment or real rejection

Her:
this...is complicated isnt it?

Kirk:
people like me and you can't have anything simple
simple = ignorant, in our convoluted, tortured, pain-scarred minds

Her:
ughhhh my mind is so clouded
i guess it just shuts down
i cant function, i cant think of what to say...its like i just...freeze

Kirk:
Well according to your horoscope, you are at the opposite end of the spectrum from me today...
sucks... wish we could have same horoscope today

Her:
some things just weren't meant to be

Kirk:
aaaaagh
thats me, falling out of the clouds
picks self up, dusts clothes off... Looks up at you, sitting on a dark cloud above, waving down mischieviously and says : "I wish you wouldn't do that"

Her:
i hate this

Kirk:
its kind of fun for me, in an oddly masochistic way
think about it- you are paying me back for my many sins against womankind
and i'm like a half-boyscout, half-devil...chasing the Angel who won't stop flying in circles

Her:
im not sure about that, but someone needs to...
its not very fun for me - of course i guess thats just me being the 'eternal pessimist' that i am

Kirk:
surely there are moments when the day is made brighter by my affection.. god i hope there are... thats a dismal thought - that you just tolerate me for the simple attention i give

Her:
well..
you do make me smile
but only sometimes

Kirk:
well i guess i have to smile about the thought of when i make you smile... you know me, the eternal optimist

Her:
of course