Monday, January 20, 2014

Entry 2, Book of Love journal

August 20, 1994

We love each other. All those years that I practiced arrogance and mistrust, all the times I hurt others in order to not be hurt, All my life-pretending not to know love, afraid of it, unsure of all that it held for my future. All my Life, Love is all that I ever wanted...

- And so suddenly those dreams were answered -

... So, why am I alone, here writing in a dark room, regretting my failures- to trust, to commit and to love her as unconditionally as she does me?

Fool. Vain, Selfish, and simply stupid. What a total fool I have been... I've been twisted into worshipping sex and style and materials rather than trust and happiness- and LOVE

I can't believe that I'm still learning new things about relationships and love, when I thought that I knew it all, long ago...

Learning even now, I can't believe that I've been shutting everything down, just existing, I haven't even been in full control. Everything's been on autopilot.

Well, I'm back, Let's see if I can pull us out...

Let's see if we can pull us out.

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