Roll your own...

This is what mine will look like- its the SS1 package, and painted just like I'd want the 69 painted...

Lauren asked me what it would take for us to leave Texas and move to Kansas. "Let me buy that fucking camaro and I'll start packing today"....

The Singapore job fell through. So, she's looking in Kansas now (good luck). Some people may not like the new camaro, or think it looks too much like the Mustang, but it's got a lot in common with my favorite model (the 69 of course). I love that back side window. Perfect. Plus the Camaro team has put a LOT of work into this project- a helluva lot more than the Mustang team, and 10 times more effort than Dodge put into that lackluster Challenger....

By the way- list price as pictured above is right at $32,000. Hell, I can just have her trade her big ole badass pickup in and she can drive the Durango if she wants to move so bad...

Behind the wheel of that beautiful machine, I won't give a damn if I'm in Texas, Kansas, or fucking timbuktu.

A sudden death to dreams

Life is for dreamers,
And I think I've dreamed my last dream...

Last caress...

SCENE: Sitting in front of a Computer screen, opening yahoo messenger to a chat window all alone-

ME: I know you ain’t around, but my avatar is a pic of the new kirk

Hopefully new and MUCH improved...

I want to see pics of this baby by the way when it gets here

ME: ACTUALLY, I'd love to see pics of you right now, preggo as hell, but I bet you are avoiding the camera like the plague

ME: Stupid as it may sound, believe it or not- I am more excited that you are expecting than I was for my own new bambino

ME: The only immortality you will ever touch is now growing inside you. Enjoy.

I remember how your eyes lit up, (even decades later) whenever you were happy and excited about something- I hope that time has not eroded that passionate kid inside you.
There has never been a smile that touched me the way yours did- When you-

ME (interrupting my own reverie): Any-way... I digress.

Enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoy.

You deserve this.

ME: This will be my final "ex dipshit-bf waxing drunken poetic in a messenger window all alone" message. I am happy for you.

It ain’t much, but I humbly pass along my best wishes... and a boyish smile that is less shit-eating grin than it is pure, childlike glee for the girl I loved, so long ago, and still.


Enjoy.

(for Angela Christine Rash)

All swagger aside-

Never Mistake your presence for the event.

Swagger

Look me in the eyes when you kill me, motherfucker.

If you've got the balls.

Pride is a poor substitute. Not even the same animal.

This ain't pride. This ain't some piss-poor ego trip

This is how it fuckin is, and it is what it is-

when you see it, you know it.

FUCK your illusions and screw your delusions

I try to be a good guy, I really fucking do. All for naught, sometimes. I don't even remember what things like fear or regret are... All I know is what I am. And self-control is the biggest gift I've got.

But sometimes, I just don't feel like giving.

Fake it if you don't belong

another day, another theme song.

Pop culture existence

Who's to know if your soul will fade at all?

The longer I live, the better I become, and yet the more I hope that there is no afterlife.

Fuck Heaven, Hell and all the in-between.

What's in a dream? What is a dream, to someone who's lived out all his only real fantasies? All except Fame- but I know myself enough to know that I'd hate that shit and I would allow it to change me.

Better this small slice of infamy- I am the man, the myth. I'm THAT fucker. The guy that doesn't doubt himself. The one who threw away his inheritance because I wouldn't let myself be lessened and wouldn't submit to someone who was so much less than I.

I've got my own little weird pride. Sometimes in the wrong things, and I realize that. But most of the time I pride myself on being better than everyone around me. And I mean that in the most sincere way. It's all I've got, after all. I'm a better father than any of my friends and family. I work harder, I strive harder. I do more with less expectation of reward, and some could consider that a flaw, not a gift. But I embrace that gift with my own brand of self-flagellative bliss. I can handle the pain better than YOU. I'm tough. And I'm true to myself and my friends. I take care of them, even when they abandon me. Fuck it= I can look them in the eye and know I am better, and they can see it too. I've never met anyone quite like me...

And I hope the fuck that I never do.

Makes this throne easier to sit in.

"King of the Dipshits" It ain't much. But its still better than being just a fucking everyman.

Hell is here

I can't Drink myself to sleep! I can't get drunk! What the fuck is wrong with me?