Valentine's Dreams

Bloody Mary weekend, take 1

Valentine’s card to imaginary possible girlfriends, take 1

"i love you... and i wish you were here

and you are NOT
so you must be some figment of my imagination
because, in some odd part of me, i somehow believe that you would make me, wildly, unoppressedly happy
you would make everything okay

and thats a very seductive thing

and as i pine for the fjords, and contemplate my life with that special woman...

i reject you... because i am so scared

that you might be right for me-(and - i might be right for you)
and in this oh-so-scarred world of pain and hate- that can't happen...

and, this is the part, where i reach out for you

and you, who have been waiting so long for me to unfuck myself and understand your love- and take your hand-

All you have to to do is - take it.

and suddenly, the magic is gone, and the chase is over- and your prince has knelt before you, diamonds glittering in hand, tears on his face

 

and your own hand drops. And you think of every excuse as to why this fairy tale should not end happily.

you may even tell him an excuse or two, as you walk away.

 

if you are merciful.

 

But, either way, once he is yours, you don't want him any longer.

 

And you move on, to your next (and his) broken heart.