Confessions of a self-hating pimp

looks like i've reverted back to my old ways....

And i was being such a good boy...

Well, hell.

It comes back, easy, to be honest. I am searching for this "moral high ground" but that place just doesnt exist. I maintained an asexual existence for the past- whatever-the-hell-it-was... and what did it matter?

I suddenly decide to need again, and I fall back into it. And its good. Damn. Its more than good. Its fucking pretty well excellent. Giving love always at least as much as i get it.

What can i say? I love to please. And, apparently, I haven't forgotten how :P

Been a lovely couple of weeks. and I want to fall in love. But that whole "Falling " thing isnt really part of my plans.

I can barely let go of myself.

I try.

Gods know, i do.

And they all make me feel like a god. And , i know i do my damndest to make them feel like my one and only goddess- if only for a night.

And so, here I am , stuck in limbo:

I'm the best man you could ever hope for- for about a three hour period of love,lust, and romance.

I give you everything; I surrender it all, i throw my heart to the wind

And ... in that quiet moment, afterwards. you realize... it wasnt YOU. and all that euphoria turns to resentment. And I cant help you with that.

Take it while you can get it. Embrace it. Suck it dry. and move on.