Sacred, part 1

Each man decides what is sacred, inviolate, to himself.

I have seen many things. I have done many things. I know what is sacred to me. Of this, I have no doubts.

I have choked down the father who once beat me, who I once watched beat my mother, as a powerless child. I have looked him in the eyes, shown him mercy, hate, compassion and even love. And walked away from the shell that he was.

I have raised children, lost children, prayed for their forgiveness and railed against them in self righteous anger. I have loved them all and know that my only hope of redemption in their eyes lies in their eyes and hearts alone.

I have closed the eyes of my mother on her deathbed, while others wept around me.

I have raised my fists in useless anger, I have struck in the defense of others, I have wounded the helpless when I had no need to.

I have loved of women, and lost. I have been loved and have forsaken love freely given.

I have doubted, so much I have doubted. And I have believed.

And, I believe now. I know in my heart what is sacred to me. I know what blasphemies are hollow and what transgressions I would never dare, lest I truly doom myself - to myself.

Each man a temple, and in his heart beats a man's own religion. Some may doubt anew. I have doubts no more. I know my own heart, and that is the grail, the reason, the meaning I have always searched for. Knowing it is what is the most sacred belief of all.