Sunday, January 31, 2010


From The Religion by Willocks:

She said, "Do you believe in magic?"

He took no offense at her shunning his tribute and replaced the viol on its stand. He did so with the precision of a man whose intimacy with the physical was natural and deep.

"I have no truck with incantations, sorcery, and the like, if that's your meaning," he said. "Such false arts stand on fancy and superstition- and as Plato said to Dionysus, 'Philosophy should never be prostitute to profane and illiterate men.' No. Magick takes her name from Ancient Persia, where a 'magician' was a wise man who expounded on the divine mechanics inherent in Nature. Men such as Zarathustra- or Hermes Trismegistus. The Egyptians considered Nature herself a magician. In that sense- there's nothing I believe in more heartily."

Monday, January 18, 2010

Of Secrets that never are told

When we Two parted - Byron

WHEN we two parted
In silence and tears,
Half broken-hearted
To sever for years,
Pale grew thy cheek and cold,
Colder thy kiss;
Truly that hour foretold
Sorrow to this.

The dew of the morning
Sunk chill on my brow—
It felt like the warning
Of what I feel now.
Thy vows are all broken,
And light is thy fame:
I hear thy name spoken,
And share in its shame.

They name thee before me,
A knell to mine ear;
A shudder comes o'er me—
Why wert thou so dear?
They know not I knew thee,
Who knew thee too well:
Long, long shall I rue thee,
Too deeply to tell.

In secret we met—
In silence I grieve,
That thy heart could forget,
Thy spirit deceive.
If I should meet thee
After long years,
How should I greet thee?
With silence and tears.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Walled in, walled out

I am so used to trying to be strong- that I cannot even allow myself a moment of weakness. I talked to my cousin Clark, today, hours before his father passed away. He explained that he couldnt feel. I knew exactly how that "felt". Our mothers died last year- two months apart. And now his dad was dying and he was feeling exactly like I am - Wishing he could feel something - other- than this need to stay resolute, this absolute necessity to stay strong in the face of adversity.

One tear is all I could muster today. I want to break down, I need some release. But my self-defense just won't let it happen.

My wife says I am cold.

She don't even know the half of it. I am dead inside, except for those moments that my kids remind me that I am alive.

I despise weakness. I despise losing. But I know I am lost forever if I can't find the strength to cry.


Rest in Peace, Travis and Jim.

and life, such as it is... goes on.


You take the breath right out of me.
You left a hole where my heart should be.
You got to fight just to make it through,
'cause I will be the death of you.