I hate her most days.

Well, 99 out of 100, if you must know.

But, sometimes I think about that 1 out of 100.

And it’s not for me.

But, I think about what would make her happy

- and what it would take-
For her, to be so together…  that she would be around.. for them.
I know, right? Talk about 1 out of 100…
And I think to myself- as bad as I feel..sometimes-

Not Now of course, don’t be silly-

But, damn, she must feel worse-

I know what it’s like- having my boys taken away-
always there,
but just a little bit out of reach.
First Andrew and Evan-
And then- Lauren, revisiting that nightmare on me again with Tristan.
Don’t ever say she didn’t win- in the end.

But, I’m always there- waiting in the wings- for my chance  to swoop in and be there, when I can.

So, when I look around, when Amy looks around, when Rain looks around..
And she’s just a ghost.

That’s when I hate her the most, and when I feel the sorriest for her.

How easy is It- to just wait there, for the moments when they need you.