I.
So many loves lost
And still just one life to lose
Shadows reverberate in my memories of this lost moment-
(or that one… I forget)
While the present stands still as a corpse
As still as I try to hold this life
not-quite-lost
Yet never, apparently, to be … found.
II.
I try each day to give up on this addiction to – life
Attempting to block out meanings so endlessly futile
And reasons that just bring deeper guilt
III.
I hold my heart, I smother it, one beat at a time
I whisper to it softly, “Hush.. close your eyes. It will all be over soon”
Forgive, Forswear, but above all- Forget.
These open eyes have done nothing but curse me, all these years
“There will come a time, you’ll see, when no more tears- and love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears. Get over your hill- and see- what you find there, with grace in your heart and fly- was in your head..” Mumford and sons, After the storm
IV.
There will come a time, you’ll see-
When the only thing you fear- is keeping on.
V.
Endlessly twisting, this fate of mine
Always held it in my hands- Am I lucky that way?
or is that me taking destiny by a strong hand and shaking my own fears into submission?
I have always known that I own this life
Double edged sword, that.
Believing it, makes me understand that THIS is the future I bequeathed myself.
No one to blame but me
Own the Hell that you have given yourself.
If you can.
VI.
Myself? I’m working on it.
Fade, 7/1/2014 .. fuck, did I make it this long? Still don’t know if that’s a shame or a blessing...
