So, I'm drinking a little whiskey...

yeah :)

No crazy rant this time. Just replaying some of the shit Lauren told me the last time she was here. The day I watched her screaming and ranting on my porch, while I calmly walked to my truck and got in, then drove off.

The high road. Its not a path I'm used to, that's for sure. But its a road that gets easier to travel on the longer I'm on it.

She can rant and rave all she wants.

There's no two ways about it, in the end- She picked her path. And she didnt ask the girls what they thought about it. She didn't ask Tristan what he thought about it. She did what was best for her. And, hey, more power to her. Some people have that benefit. They can analyze their situation and go towards the door that offers them the most oppurtunity.

I am a different breed.

What is "best for me" never quite factored in.

I do what is best for Them. Everytime. Without exception. Its not even conscious. Maybe you can chalk it up to some psychological self-hate and self-doubt.

Whatever helps you sleep at night. This is my self-sacrifice. Me, the grand ego deity of myself- checks my godhood at the door each night to make sure my girls are taken care of.

I know how worthless I am. I know how important they are.

So pardon me if I dont fall down at the venom of Lauren and her newfound parental glory.

Fuck you, my dear, I've been doing this awhile. It might be argued I only married you FOR THEM. And, after all that, you FAIL them in such spectactular fashion.

Well, can't say I'm surprised. The selfishness of women has yet to surprise me. And you can rail at the Evil that-is-Kirk all you can. The truth- well, its just the fuckin truth, aint it?

And while, you , full of vainglorious self=righteousness, always spin away, telling tales of my wickedness- I sit here humbly, through all my bluster, and pick up the pieces- FOR THEM- once again.

I'm here. You are there.

Reconcile it however your little mind allows.

One way is for yourself. The other way is for something beyond yourself.

I'm not gonna hold my breath hoping you figure it out. But- I DO HOPE YOU FIGURE IT OUT.

for the children's sake.