Every day is a struggle, a gift and a curse.
Its up to you to determine how much weight you put into each of those categories.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Letting go for love
Babochka
"Come down and waste away with me"
I love you more than that... I would think you knew.
"If anything could feel this real,forever"
It doesn't. It can't.
"Breathe out, so I can breathe you in."
sigh. A man can dream, cant he? perfect dreams. Perfect illusions.
You excite me, y0u inflame my ego with your attentions- we are so alike. But you have your dream. Playing with possibilities denigrates that. KNOW THIS: I love you. As much as I love anyone or anything. And you love him. And HE loves YOU. I have been called an evil bastard many times. But. i'd rather die than fuck up true love. And THAT IS what you have.
i'm a jealous motherfucker. But I aint a hater. Love. Love him and let him love you. Its such a rare thing, Babochka. iTs such a fucking easy thing, if you let it be.
"Come down and waste away with me"
I love you more than that... I would think you knew.
"If anything could feel this real,forever"
It doesn't. It can't.
"Breathe out, so I can breathe you in."
sigh. A man can dream, cant he? perfect dreams. Perfect illusions.
You excite me, y0u inflame my ego with your attentions- we are so alike. But you have your dream. Playing with possibilities denigrates that. KNOW THIS: I love you. As much as I love anyone or anything. And you love him. And HE loves YOU. I have been called an evil bastard many times. But. i'd rather die than fuck up true love. And THAT IS what you have.
i'm a jealous motherfucker. But I aint a hater. Love. Love him and let him love you. Its such a rare thing, Babochka. iTs such a fucking easy thing, if you let it be.
Commonplace tragedies
soooo tired. So fucking worn out, worn in, worn through...
I love,, in my memory.
IN my life, not so much.
I love,, in my memory.
IN my life, not so much.
Joys in life
I told her i loved her tonight...
I could say I am not sure why I said it- but that's bullshit.
I wanted her to know. Not because I'm selling anything. Not because I'm trying to take her for my own...
Because- i wanted her to know. She brings joy to my life. And I appreciate that. So little does these days...
I WANT to be what you all want me to be. I just CANT. i know why, but the why doesnt help -a-fucking-thing.
Giving in is too much like Giving up
I'm going to choke this bitch for all she's worth.
I DONT want anyone else. Cuz then I'd have to give up doing what i want, whenever I want, every fucking day for the rest of my fucking life.
Last night, in the ride to the party
I started talking about the things I truly enjoy
Its a short list
What, I asked myself, do I enjoy, completely, ultimately, consistently?
No matter what the situation- No matter what else is going on-
Three things make me happy everytime. I could organize them in any way I want, but i'll just list them in the order as they occurred to me:
DRINKING: Never fails. And it makes me feel good.
FUCKING: I'm good a it. And it makes me feel good.
Taking care of my kids: The only worthwhile endeavor on my list. I dont put it here because it makes me look like less of an asshole. i put it here, because I love it and it brings me all the happiness in the world. Even better than drinking and fucking, cuz there's no guilt involved.
I could say I am not sure why I said it- but that's bullshit.
I wanted her to know. Not because I'm selling anything. Not because I'm trying to take her for my own...
Because- i wanted her to know. She brings joy to my life. And I appreciate that. So little does these days...
I WANT to be what you all want me to be. I just CANT. i know why, but the why doesnt help -a-fucking-thing.
Giving in is too much like Giving up
I'm going to choke this bitch for all she's worth.
I DONT want anyone else. Cuz then I'd have to give up doing what i want, whenever I want, every fucking day for the rest of my fucking life.
Last night, in the ride to the party
I started talking about the things I truly enjoy
Its a short list
What, I asked myself, do I enjoy, completely, ultimately, consistently?
No matter what the situation- No matter what else is going on-
Three things make me happy everytime. I could organize them in any way I want, but i'll just list them in the order as they occurred to me:
DRINKING: Never fails. And it makes me feel good.
FUCKING: I'm good a it. And it makes me feel good.
Taking care of my kids: The only worthwhile endeavor on my list. I dont put it here because it makes me look like less of an asshole. i put it here, because I love it and it brings me all the happiness in the world. Even better than drinking and fucking, cuz there's no guilt involved.
walking the line
Well, i work for the city
in the town where I grew up
Some days I run a backhoe,
some days I run a dump
If I had other plans, on my graduation day
then several years ago, I guess i hauled them all away
She told me she was pregnant on the day I turned 18
I did what you're supposed to do, I bought her a ring
He didnt have to ask us...
but he asked us anyway
We stood up, and said I DO-
what else were we gonna say>
what else were we gonna say
Well, I'm thankful for the things I have,
And all the things I don't
And I got dreams that will come true,
And I got some that won't..
Most the time, I just walk the line, wherever it goes
cuz you caint hang yourself, if you aint got enough rope
in the town where I grew up
Some days I run a backhoe,
some days I run a dump
If I had other plans, on my graduation day
then several years ago, I guess i hauled them all away
She told me she was pregnant on the day I turned 18
I did what you're supposed to do, I bought her a ring
He didnt have to ask us...
but he asked us anyway
We stood up, and said I DO-
what else were we gonna say>
what else were we gonna say
Well, I'm thankful for the things I have,
And all the things I don't
And I got dreams that will come true,
And I got some that won't..
Most the time, I just walk the line, wherever it goes
cuz you caint hang yourself, if you aint got enough rope
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Race Whores
Dude, i grew up in the spanish hood (west Tx, tho, Where There Are no MexiCANTS) and they are pretty proud of that Mexican label. I was actually gonna google chicano, but I'm too busy surfing porn and Lord Byron's poetry analysis. I feel so sorry for all you "race purists" I am such a mongrel, I dont have these classification conundrums. One day I call myself redneck, next day i cam embrace my inner irish nigga, or I can crucify myself as the proud tribe member of oh hell, i've got blood from three Native American tribes that were constantly at war with each other= so just write me up as a guy who looks at anyone who is proud of their blood line with a healthy distaste and an eyebrow raised in a cautionary fashion.Being proud of something you cant control is kind of silly to me. But what the hell does a (insert fraction here) mulitiple half-breed know?
(from a post fucking with Angelo, of course, lol)
(from a post fucking with Angelo, of course, lol)
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