I wonder why I always get what i DONT want so easily.
and the only things i do want are always so completely out of reach.
I know what i love
and it kills me, not being able to love what i want to
it kills me
over and over
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Monday, November 19, 2012
Livin
No matter how bad it gets- you gotta love Something-
Find your something, and love it as best you can.
In the end, its not about how much you were loved-
its about how much You Loved
Find your something, and love it as best you can.
In the end, its not about how much you were loved-
its about how much You Loved
Nurture
Still here...
surprised? I am
I guess. But. I'm a keep-on keeping on kind a guy. Nobody's gonna take care of Amy and Rain, so I have to stay on the path.
They are doing well. I'd love to take the credit. But they are so amazing, I honestly cant fathom that I may be responsible for that. All my kids are so much better than I was, than my brothers and sisters were.
They are damn sure better than both their parents.
And that is, of course, my ultimate goal.
Instill the good things of my self, and boil away the bad.
Give them the guidance I never had- help them to learn from my mistakes- even while I make more.
i fear I'm not a good positive example, but I am a lesson in what-not-to-do.
I think they get it.
Like I say, they are smart girls.
And = LOVE THEM. Love them more than you could ever love yourself (if ever you did).
They can sense it. And sometimes, I see them trying hard to live up to how perfect I think they are, and that's such a good thing. Because they cannot fail me.
They never will, they never could. But i will try to give them reason to excel, to blossom, to live past their own expectations.
As long as they don't fail themselves, I have done what i was supposed to.
surprised? I am
I guess. But. I'm a keep-on keeping on kind a guy. Nobody's gonna take care of Amy and Rain, so I have to stay on the path.
They are doing well. I'd love to take the credit. But they are so amazing, I honestly cant fathom that I may be responsible for that. All my kids are so much better than I was, than my brothers and sisters were.
They are damn sure better than both their parents.
And that is, of course, my ultimate goal.
Instill the good things of my self, and boil away the bad.
Give them the guidance I never had- help them to learn from my mistakes- even while I make more.
i fear I'm not a good positive example, but I am a lesson in what-not-to-do.
I think they get it.
Like I say, they are smart girls.
And = LOVE THEM. Love them more than you could ever love yourself (if ever you did).
They can sense it. And sometimes, I see them trying hard to live up to how perfect I think they are, and that's such a good thing. Because they cannot fail me.
They never will, they never could. But i will try to give them reason to excel, to blossom, to live past their own expectations.
As long as they don't fail themselves, I have done what i was supposed to.
Friday, November 9, 2012
Midnight, by Robert E. Howard
Kirk leaned his elbows upon the table and cursed. The candle guttered low. The bottle was empty, and a slow fire coiled in our brains--the fire which devours and consumes and destroys but never leaps into full wild flame.
I looked at Kirk with bleared eyes. He hid his face in his hands. He was thinking of a woman he knew. The cards, greasy with handling and stained with whiskey and candle tallow, lay scattered between us. The desire for gambling was gone, and there was no more whiskey.
"Cheer up, Kirk," I said. "Listen--I'll tell you: Somewhere in the world the sun is coming up like a red dragon to shine on a gilded pagoda; somewhere the bleak silver stars are gleaming on the white sands where a magic caravan is sleeping out in the ages.
Somewhere the night wind is blowing through the grass of a mysterious grave. Somewhere there is a gossamer sailed ship carving a wake of silver foam across the dark blue of the Mediterranean. This isn't all, Kirk."
"Oh, Christ," he groaned, reaching for the empty bottle, "I wish I had a drink."
(Shameful name changing, I know- but from one Texas boy to 'nother, I think he'd understand)
I looked at Kirk with bleared eyes. He hid his face in his hands. He was thinking of a woman he knew. The cards, greasy with handling and stained with whiskey and candle tallow, lay scattered between us. The desire for gambling was gone, and there was no more whiskey.
"Cheer up, Kirk," I said. "Listen--I'll tell you: Somewhere in the world the sun is coming up like a red dragon to shine on a gilded pagoda; somewhere the bleak silver stars are gleaming on the white sands where a magic caravan is sleeping out in the ages.
Somewhere the night wind is blowing through the grass of a mysterious grave. Somewhere there is a gossamer sailed ship carving a wake of silver foam across the dark blue of the Mediterranean. This isn't all, Kirk."
"Oh, Christ," he groaned, reaching for the empty bottle, "I wish I had a drink."
(Shameful name changing, I know- but from one Texas boy to 'nother, I think he'd understand)
Crazy parents
What drives me crazy about Andrea is that she always does the opposite of whats best- For Her, for the girls,for all of us.
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