Woke up foggy- peel back the curtain of life to an empty street and wonder at it all. Breathe in the dreaming: Is it real, is it bad, does it matter? Tristan hears me stirring, and stirs in turn- "Daddy?" It's a question and an order all in one. I go to his bed and bid him good morning. Satisfied that he has touched base with HIS reality, he returns to his dream. And mine- wisps away
prologue this was good enough to write down in one of my journals (skeleton) . I elaborated a tiny bit there. I wonder if I should here. But, naw, I'll let it stand alone. Tristan's up now. I'm cooking sausage, he's bouncing around, eating applesauce and huggin on "My Daddy!" I've got CMT playing in the background (you know I'm feeling sentimental when I'm listening to country music).. I've been loving on the classic alternative channel for weeks now on the music channels on cable. It's - well, hell, its a good damn morning. Beer with breakfast, but hey its a sunday,and it'll be alright. Twist wants to play on the computer, so I;m gonna get off here and let him tear shit up. Enjoy your day, folks. Its the little things..
Thursday, April 7, 2011
For Robin- ... some days I find myself in such a hole that i dont even want to claw my way out. Its : keep on for the kids. and thats basically it. You really are my best friend. And days like today- in a hundred subtle ways, I draw strength from your example. I used to be bullet proof and knew it all and didnt give a second thought to a thing so weak-as a second thought. I still dont doubt myself - but I sure do doubt the world around me. And that shit wears on me. There is a saying "There are those who take the heart out of you- but, there are those who put it back." .... There are days I thank god (whatever the hell that concept is, but I thank it ) to have someone like you in my life. I used to be you= I put the life into people. I dont know where the fuck I went wrong. but I lost that. And I hate myself for it. But you renew that sense/ And you make me want to be better than I am now. And I just wanted you to know that.